MAY 2023

Monday-Thursday, May 1-4, 2023

Invermere constantly tests me: there are so many open doors in this community, and I find it very hard to say “no thanks” when opportunities arise or I feel needed.

I would be perfectly happy writing all day & spending time with my family and friends. 

And yet, when given the choice between a summer of writing, with my kiddo running wild at day camps, and a summer of full-time paid work … this time I chose the work.

My sister and I will be managing the concession at our VERY busy beach this summer. I agreed to this during my recent existential crisis, when tendinitis made typing impossible.

The good news is that the work will pay my big bills this year! And I get to spend my days at the beach, sorta outside, eating ice cream.

The downside is, of course, that my writing time will be limited this summer.

OR: maybe, because that writing time will be so precious, I’ll prioritize it and get the rest of my book written.

Friday, May 5, 2023

The last few weeks have been busy, getting our new business set up and stocking the concession so we can half-open for Mother’s Day weekend.

FINALLY, I had a whole morning free to write today! I read my most recent chapters, then starting typing …

I ran into my friend Kate at the Circle Cafe this week and she asked how I write. Here’s my process:

Long ago, in September 2022, I planned out my novel. Mysteries are super fun to plan. Who dies, and how? Who wanted them to die? Who is better off with them dead? I figure out my characters and find how they’re all connected. 

I write plot points, clues, etc. on index cards and move them around until everything makes sense. Juanita’s book helps with this part, and I hire her for a morning to help me review everything.

Then I type out a bullet list of the entire novel, including all the index card moments.

These days, when I’m ready to write the next scene, I use the bullet list of what HAS to happen and fill out a brainstorm-like template sheet. I consider:

• WHERE are my characters? (I have a whole separate setting checklist I work through, to help me identify why this setting is the right setting for this scene.)
• what will my characters smell, taste, hear, feel (textures)?
• what is my protagonist’s emotion state at the start & end of this scene?
• what is the conflict?
• what is the worst possible outcome for this scene, and can I make that happen?
• what is the best moment in which to start this scene? (Ideally a strong image or moment of tension.)
• and more.

I love this process. I discover so many angles to the scene and the story that I wouldn’t have found otherwise. And: this planning makes the scene much easier to write. 

Saturday, May 6, 2023

As I tucked my kiddo in last night, I realized I could get back to reading my book & find out what happens after the protagonist visits the newspaper office. 

Then I realized: while I am reading three books right now, the novel I was so eager to return to was the one I’m writing.

I haven’t yet written the scene after the newspaper office.

I’m writing this book, these novels, for myself right now, but someday someday I hope a reader (who isn’t me) feels that same excitement and longing to continue reading these stories.

Sunday, May 7, 2023

My son tells me he’s afraid of heights, but when I wanted a friend to join me at the new aerial park attraction he offered to come with me.

And: he was so brave.

The aerial park at Valley Zipline Adventures has three levels: 15, 30 and 50 feet above the ground. We made it to the second level, and my kiddo rocked it.

I’ve told him that “bravery” is when you’re nervous or scared to do something, and you do it regardless. (If you find something easy and do it, that’s not bravery.)

He said no to some parts of the course (e.g. the dangling picnic table) and refused to try level 3, and I’m proud of him for that too: he knew his limits, and stood his ground. 

You can watch a video from our aerial park adventure on YouTube here.

Monday, May 8, 2023

A super cool perk of helping my guy manage his pub is that I can book performers I want to listen to.

I fell in love with Tara Warburton‘s incredible voice at the Columbia Valley Pride Festival last summer, and have been wanting to bring her to the pub for a performance every since.

My dream came true this weekend. My mom and I got a front-row table and revelled in Tara’s original songs for two hours.

I saw Serena Ryder perform decades ago in Victoria, as the opening act for someone. Someday, someday, Tara Warburton will be discovered and become an award-winning star too.

Tuesday, May 9, 2023

I’ve signed up for a few more Sisters in Crime online courses. “Writing Male Characters” started this week, with Julie Rowe as the instructor.

Some random thoughts on writing a gender that is not your own:

• It’s difficult! I’m intimidated. I wrote from the perspective of male characters in my first novel and those scenes were okay, by which I mean believable (I think!), but I doubt I could maintain that male POV for an entire 95,000 words.
• I’m going to generalize, so brace yourself: men and women speak differently, we make different assumptions about situations, we react differently to obstacles. I’ve struggled often to imagine how a male character would behave in a situation, and then been shocked by the insights from male friends.
• When a writer FAILS at writing a different gender, they fail hard. I’ve read those disappointing scenes. I’ve been disappointed. They are the weak moments in otherwise fantastic books.
• I’m not necessarily interested in writing from the point of view of male characters. Women are SO much more intriguing to me. I can explore a sub-aspect of myself and turn that into a whole new character.

All that said, I want to learn more about this writerly skill, which is why I’m taking the course.

Wednesday, May 10, 2023

Julie Rowe blew my mind this morning, with her latest lesson on how to write male characters.

It hadn’t occurred to me that writing a male character could be as simple as following a list of male traits.

(Sorry, menfolk, but you can be predictable.)

For example, Julie shared these common gender stereotypes in communication:

• Men tend to want to talk about their skill and knowledge (mansplaining).
• When hearing a complaint, men tend to react by trying to resolve it.
• Men use more articles in speaking (a, the, an) and fewer pronouns.
• Men are more likely to interrupt another speaker.

So I can write a male character that matches the reader’s expectactions just by aligning to these (and other) stereotypes. Or even better: Julie suggests that we knowingly subvert some of these expectations, to write a complex male character.

Friday, May 12, 2023

We opened our beach concession today, and it turns out I LOVE working in a commercial kitchen.

For someone who can’t smell or taste, for someone who rarely makes dinner for her family, this is shocking.

From the first order slip, it felt like I was playing that virtual reality game where you’re a short order cook.

Okay, that’s rather circular, to say that reality felt like virtual reality based on reality, but it’s the truth.

I love the challenge, I love not having to interact with people, and it turns out I even love keeping the kitchen organized and clean.

Age 43 and I’m still learning new things about myself.

Saturday, May 13, 2023

When my man opened his pub with his cook partner, we all assumed we had to be fancy. In those first promotional headshots, he wore a button collar shirt.

Eventually we realized that he was most successful when he was naturally himself: friendly, direct, light-hearted. He started wearing Hawaiian shirts and silly socks to work.

Two years later, we’ve extended the pub’s hours. I was nervous at first, because I didn’t want us to become a club for sloppy drunk hootchie youths. Our clientele is middle-aged and older. Does that demographic even WANT to be at a pub after 9pm?

Tonight (once again) I was happy to realize we could just be ourselves. Our late-night customers were listening to our local DJs … and playing crib!!!! They were chatting with their friends. Some drank our non-alcoholic drinks. We are still OURSELVES, we’re just open later now. Phew.

There’s a life lesson there, I’m sure.

Sunday, May 14, 2023

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone with a mom in their life!

Pro Mom Tip: take charge of your own special day, and you can make it exactly what you want it to be.

I started Mother’s Day early, by drinking tea and quilting in the sunshine on the deck of my man’s pub before it opened.

Then my sister and I brought breakfast bakery treats to our mom (and dad), and later we reunited for family dinner and a board game.

My kid hugged me, my man gave me flowers, and that was nice too.

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

I have discovered Margie Lawson, a Colarado-based writing guru, via my “Writing Male Characters” course with Julie Rowe.

Margie offers downloadable lecture packets, online courses, and in-person immersive courses. The testimonials from past students are inspiring, their subsequent success enviable, and I’m hoping her wisdom will help me.

Book #2 was rejected by an agent this week: her very kind email explained she wasn’t able to connect with my characters. I have been struggling with writing emotionally available protagonists from the beginning, likely due to my own emotional traumas (eclampsia, a preemie firstborn, my husband’s cancer & death), and I’m desperate to do better.

So I bought Margie Lawson’s “Empowering Characters’ Emotions” lecture packet and started reading today.

Wednesday, May 17, 2023

After a super productive work-to-dos morning I settled in at a pub table to read chapter 2 of Margie Lawson‘s lecture notes on “Empowering Characters’ Emotions.”

After attempting to highlight the “visceral responses” sentences in my opening chapter of Book #2, I realized there weren’t any …

Which is a good thing? Because now I have a concrete skill to learn and practice and incorporate into my writing to make these manuscripts better.

What are “visceral responses”? Margie defines these as involuntary physical responses to the scene’s action. For example: heart rate, pulse, adrenaline, weak legs, sweating.

They aren’t metaphors or other figurative language, and they aren’t the character intellectualizing or explaining their emotions.

The reader will feel the same visceral responses as the point of view character, so I better make sure I show my protagonist experiencing these moments! Success means the reader will connect with the protagonist, feel the scene’s tension & want to turn the page to keep reading.

Thursday, May 18, 2023

Once upon a time I stood above my two-year-old to help him pull on his pants, and he jumped up, and I bit through my tongue.

I lost my ability to smell and taste some time after, but I was busy with mothering a toddler and taking care of my sick husband so the sensory loss wasn’t a priority.

Today (seven years later) an osteopath gave me my first ever “tongue massage.” She adjusted the bones in my face. 

Tonight I smelled bleach for the first time since 2016.

So that’s pretty cool.

Friday, May 19, 2023

I read through Chapter 3 of Margie Lawson’s “Empowering Characters’ Emotions” lecture and highlighted all the not-present, intellectualized sentences of the opening chapter of Book #2.

The results are humbling.

Waayyy too much of my opening scene is back story / retrospective, analytical and expository: there’s distance between the reader and what is actually happening in the scene.

While frustrating, the silver lining is that I know how to fix this.

Learning is exhausting! I’m tired of rewriting this book. It would be so much easier to STOP learning, to just settle for what I’m already capable of doing. 

But I can’t help myself.

Saturday, May 20, 2023

Nothing makes me happier or feel more successful as a parent than when my kid chooses to read a book.

Actual conversation between me & my husband when Zack was born:

ME: I’m going to make him love books.

BROCK: You can’t make someone love books.

ME: Just watch me.

Sunday, May 21, 2023

Happiness is finding pleasure in the little things, like these gleaming clean hot dog rollers that I de-greased Sunday morning.

Monday, May 22, 2023

After a crazy busy Saturday at the beach concession, our holiday Monday was a calm day due to the CRAZY wind and rain storms.

I was right: taking on this new business has made me value my writing time even more.

I’m about to tackle an important series of scenes in my book: many secrets will be revealed, there are twists and turns, there are conflicts and betrayal and drama. After a busy weekend, I’m physically tired but emotionally refreshed to write these scenes.

Tuesday, May 23, 2023

After my first osteopath session with Renate, I am able to smell and taste things again. Everything still seems to be dulled — like I’m tasting through a screen — but wow, it’s better than the sensory silence I’ve experienced for the last 6/7 years.

I used to love food. I’ve been craving tapenade so I went shopping & filled my basket with past-favourite treats: blue cheese, tapenade, squishy French bread …

My man joined me for lunch and fed me things with my eyes closed. Watermelon was sweet, rice vinegar was tangy. I could taste the fig in the boursin. 

Miraculous.

Wednesday, May 24, 2023

I want to keep reading & learning from Margie Lawson’s lecture notes, but I’ve set myself a 40,000 word goal for May 31 so I need to pause that learning and get back to writing down this story.

Luckily, it’s a pleasure to write these scenes.

And I’ve already noticed improvement in my writing today, having read Margie’s thoughts on “power words” and “backloading.”

I know, I know: the usual advice is to silence that editor brain while writing the first draft. Everytime I catch a spelling mistake on a re-read I celebrate: it means my creative left brain was in full gear when I was writing. 

But I write best while balancing a line between structure and chaos, planning and spontaneity, consideration and freedom. I let the horse roam, but I’m still holding the reins.

Thursday, May 25, 2023

They’re FINALLY making a film about Alan Bradley‘s Flavia de Luce heroine!!! Personally, I want it to be a TV series, but a film is great too.

I hope they focus on Flavia, and not some random adult male character. The star-studded cast concerns me.

To celebrate, I decided to re-read the series and discovered I’ve collected not one but THREE copies of The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie. 

This first book — which won the CWA Debut Dagger award, and so launched Canadian Alan Bradley to crime writing stardom — is as well-written and addictive as I remembered.

Saturday, May 27, 2023

I’ve mastered mini doughnuts!!!!

We wasted SO much batter trying to get it right, but then a chef friend came by and aced it with his first try. He taught me the tricks & now I’m a mini doughnut making machine.

Just as I tasted victory, a customer whined that her doughnuts were cold. Of course they were cold: I’d made them an hour ago, then cleaned up the machine and turned my attention to French fries and hot dogs. 

But she had a point.

Why do we expect normal doughnuts to be cold and mini doughnuts to be hot? Doesn’t matter: we do.

So my new strategy is to make some doughnut bags for people in a hurry, and then I’ll make fresh ones to order throughout the day. 

And so goes the rollercoaster of learning, experimentation and growth in my life as a fledgling beach concession cook.

Tuesday, May 30, 2023

Constructive criticism is SO much harder to take with a novel rather than a short story.

Any changes involve major rethinking & time & energy.

I felt defeated yesterday and questioned my ikigai. Is this really worth prioritizing? Wouldn’t it be easier to just live a normal hedonistic existence and do my hobbies, make money, start cooking proper family dinners?

I’m not brave at talking about my feelings but I reached out to my writer friends & they consoled me. They told me to re-read Stephen King’s On Writing. Especially the chapter on rejection & the bit where he gets the phone call about Carrie.

And they told me to keep writing book #3. Even though I want to stop & relearn everything about writing.

So I’m following their instructions.

If persistence is indeed 99% of success, my success is inevitable.